Welcome to The Stet Collective
Coaching & Community for Women in Law
We help women in law end burnout, break away from the stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion consuming them, and lead empowered lives driven by reasoning they feel good about.
At the Stet Collective, you will find the coaching, resources, and network of
support you need to overcome all the things leaving you tired and feeling stuck
- overwhelm, worry, guilt, procrastination, perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-doubt -
and the many other work/life challenges common for female attorneys.
Here, you will learn the skills to navigate your career and your life with confidence,
clarity, and resilience no matter where the journey takes you.
Alyssa Malin, J.D.
Inspired by her own experience as an attorney whose life was transformed by coaching, Alyssa became a certified coach, left her job as General Counsel to a large New York City real estate investment firm, and founded The Stet Collective to help other attorneys achieve the same kind of transformation.
Twenty years of experience spanning all settings of the legal profession have allowed Alyssa to observe the prevailing thought patterns and social constructs that lead some women, and particularly women in law, to find their jobs unsustainable. As a J.D. with a bachelor's in sociology and coaching certification from the top training program available, Alyssa’s methodology draws upon her own experience as well as the teachings of cognitive psychology, neuroplasticity, and feminist theory to help her clients build resilience, make empowered decisions, and go on to lead sustainable, fulfilling lives.
Can you relate?
You're a lawyer. You're a smart, successful, high-achieving woman.
From the outside, it looks like you’ve got it all together. But it's a different story on the inside.
You are overwhelmed. Most days you are working at a crazed pace, but you never seem to accomplish the things you need to get done.
You are stressed-out and anxious. You feel like you are constantly questioning yourself, your abilities, and expecting the worst, which leaves you distracted at home, unable to focus in the office, and awake at night.
You are exhausted. Your life has been taken over by work and you have no energy left for anything or anyone else. As if that isn't hard enough, you beat yourself up about it.
You are fed up. You feel stuck in an impossible situation, set up to fail. You are proud of all you have achieved, yet you find yourself fantasizing about walking (running?) away on a regular basis.
You knew being a lawyer would be challenging, but you didn’t think it would be all-consuming.
You know there is a better way to live, but you don’t know if it is possible without leaving your job or changing careers, and you don’t know where to start.
The Stet Collective is a Community for Women in Law.
Our clients come to us for coaching after having pushed aside how they feel for far too long.
They’ve changed jobs, gotten promotions, gone in-house, worked harder, worked more, worked less, worked with executive coaches, taken anxiety meds, sleeping aids, self-medicated, and tried exercise, yoga, meditation, vacation and all the self-help books.
But those things often don't work for the long-term because they don’t address the real problem.
We think it's our environment - our job, our workload, our boss, our co-workers, the legal profession, where we live, etc. - making us miserable, but anyone who has "escaped" to a new job or even a new city knows that wherever you go, similar frustrations usually resurface.
Without question, the legal industry must change. Most of us are operating in a system that was designed for men by men and does not accommodate the realities of women's lives. The way women are conditioned from an early age to diminish themselves and put the needs and opinions of others before their own only compounds the problem.
All of this can make change seem like an uphill battle.
But we are in control of our own misery, and conversely our own happiness, more than we know. And it starts with learning to manage your mind - adjusting the framework through which we think about ourselves and our environment.
This is the work we will do together.
At the Stet Collective we encourage our clients to embrace "stet." To let it stand.
To stop haphazardly "editing" your life based on disempowering feelings and beliefs.
You feel stuck with no good options, but the truth is you aren't.
Our work together will show you why. It will teach you how to immediately feel better and you will learn to take on day-to-day life from a place of strength rather than burnout and last resort.
Our one-to-one coaching program with Alyssa Malin will teach you concrete, practical, lifelong skills to overcome your core work/life challenges and be emotionally resilient in any situation.
Our community platform will give you access to resources for sustained self-discovery and growth
and a supportive network of women doing the same work along with you.
At The Stet Collective you will find the coaching, resources,
and community you need to end burnout, be the master of your own
well-being, and lead a sustainable and fulfilling life inside and outside the office.
Women today have more economic power and social influence than ever before. Women in law are the embodiment of this. Yet, studies show female attorneys are unhappy and leaving their jobs and the profession in record numbers.
Why is this a problem?
For the legal industry, it's a problem because the industry is losing female talent it has heavily invested in, and whose presence and perspective are both valuable to clients and critical to moving the profession forward.
For women in law, it's a problem because, despite our training, so many of us find ourselves feeling disempowered, stuck, with our lives being guided by overwhelm and stress.
Our mission is to help women in law end burnout, break away from the anxiety and exhaustion ruling their lives, and lead empowered lives driven by reasoning they feel good about.
Change rarely occurs in this world without the critical work of lawyers.
The Stet Collective aims to be part of that change - within the legal industry and beyond - by helping women in law first create change for themselves.